Thursday 30 December 2010

Lewis Colgate. E-mail 5

Since we did not get any answer in 24 hours, we decided it was time to write again. It seemed this was going to be the last e-mail for this story, but we still had to hear from the police...

========================
Dear Ms. Lewis Colgate,

My butler specifically stayed in, waiting for your call, and you did
not call. This was mostly inconvenient for me, I must say, since I had
to collect my croquet balls on my own. My guests found that extremely
humiliating. If I had already received the $8.4m I would be able to
afford a second butler to wait for your calls. However, I have not
received anything.

I expect some compensation for this inconvenience. I also expect you
reply promptly with the following details of you:

FULL NAME AND ADDRESS
WORKING TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
IDENTITY COPY

and some document to prove that you still keep in the bank the $8.4m.

You disappoint me, Mr. Coldgate. And I do not like being disappointed.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Donald McDonald.

--
Prof. Dr. Mr. Sir Lord Duke Donald McDonald FRS CBE VC FRSE DCM GCSE

Lewis Colgate. E-mail 4

It was about time we actually create some persona, so we got a new e-mail address for Donald and replied in style. Note in particular how we added letters to our name at the end, and the different tooth idioms.

=====================
Dear Dr. Lewis Coldface,

Thanks for your e-mail. I am quite unimpressed with your behaviour,
trying to get your teeth into my $0.1m from the total amount of $8.4m.
This came as a kick in the teeth to me. You must not try that again,
be aware that I am armed to the teeth and will go after you. It only
took me a second to realise you were lying through your teeth over
there.

Only two explanations occur to me for this behaviour. The first one,
you are just cutting your teeth through this business, and you are not
used to it. The second one, your bosses are pressuring you to get
commissions. In that case, make them know I am not afraid to show my
teeth, if they try something like that again.

In any case, I feel like I detected a trick by the skin of my teeth,
so before I provide you with my details, I need you to send me some of
your details, in particular:

FULL NAME AND ADDRESS
WORKING TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
IDENTITY COPY

and some document to prove that you still keep in the bank the $8.4m.

Once you do this, I will discuss with you further details, including
which account in the State Bank of the Principality of Sealand you can
make the transfer to. I understand you are not used to Drachmas, but
you'd better learn soon after Sealand dollars, since it is the only
currency that bank would accept.

In the meanwhile I will keep playing croquet. Do you like croquet?
Maybe we could play together one day.

Looking forward to hearing from you,



Donald McDonald.

--
Prof. Dr. Mr. Sir Lord Donald McDonald FRS CBE VC FRSE DCM GCSE

Friday 24 December 2010

Lewis Colgate. E-mail 3.

He did not call, but he replied!! Note how he changes the amount of the money in the subject line too! He does not mind stop being a doctor, as long as I decide so :)

======================

from: Colgate Lewis
to: Lord Donald MacDonald

Subject: Inheritance/Contract Funds $8.4million


Attn;

I have seen your mail and comments well noted.Yes it is $8.4million and as for the currencies you asked me to convert it to,that i cannot do because i do not know of such currency and the exchange rate to $$$.You are in a better position to know the currency and the exchange.

You have to send these details below to enable us proceed with the processing and documentation in your name;

FULL NAME AND ADDRESS
WORKING TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
IDENTITY COPY.

I will call you by tomorrow as you said but you are yet to send to me your cell number.

Regards,
Mr Lewis Colgate.

Lewis Colgate. E-mail 2

And our reply. We added the telephone number at the end, i just omit it here:

============================
Dear Mr Lewis Coldface,

Thank you very much for your e-mail regarding my Inheritance/Contract Funds. I thought it was $8.4m. Surely you are not taking one 0.1m for yourself? Maybe is the conversion rate. Could you let me know which is the correct amount in Silver Drachmas or Bactrain Coinage, which are the currencies I keep in my pocket?

About the address, this is not a safe communication, since I am being monitored by the CIA and his friends from Venus. I will give you my cell number, which has encrypted communications and we can discuss on the issue. My assistant, Mr Thomas Turbate may take the phone. Let him know you want to speak to me. He was born in a cave, so his English is not very good. Please, do call on Friday at 1.00pm GMT, since at any other time we will be playing croquet.

Looking forward to hearing from you,


Donald McDonald.

--
Prof. Dr. Mr. Sir Lord Donald McDonald FRS CBE VC FRSE GCSE
Tel:

Lewis Colgate. E-mail 1

So here it goes the first e-mail by Lewis Colgate:
===============================

Attn: Sir/Madam,


It was resolved and agreed upon that Your Inheritance/Contract Funds $8.3m would be released to you on a special method of payment which tag Name Reads "SWIFT CREDIT CARD".You are adviced to re-comfirm.


1) YOUR NAME..........................
............

2) ADDRESS.......................................

3) OCCUPATION...................................

4) NEXT OF KIN.....................................


PHONE AND FAX NUMBER TO CLAIM YOUR FUND.
I shall be waiting to hear from you along with the confirmation of the above mentioned information.


Thanks,
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Lewis Colgate.

Spam the spammers

You know how we get constant e-mails with spam, especially if you are associated to a University and they keep publishing your e-mail online. So one day we were bored in the office (this doesn't happen very often) and we said 'what about replying to the e-mail of one of these jokers?' Unfortunately conspirer number one was away in Europe, so I was there on my own and the thing did not go very far, despite of the efforts of the other office mate and my flatmate. I must acknowledge that we were inspired by 419eater The following posts are the correspondence. Sit down, get a drink, relax and enjoy :)